So in my last post, I decided to go for a week without complaining, or at least attempt to not complain... So here is the update!
First off, the Lord is so gracious and kind. This week (now a week and a half since I started) was a great revealer of what is truely in my heart. The first few days were awesome! Everytime I thought to complain about something, I quickly was reminded of my verses to not complain and to be thankful in all things. I was so encouraged and felt very strengthened by the Lord. I remember telling Tony how great all of this was...
...Then came the next few days! It was crazy because suddenly I felt like so many things were coming at me all at once, and they were all "noteworthy" things to complain about, at least in my mind. It was those things that make you think, "Well I know the Bible says to do all things without complaining, BUT this is on a whole new level!" The mind does silly things when it wants to have a reason and excuse to go against Scripture!
So much happened in this week and I felt hit in all areas of my life. I was so discouraged and depressed by the end of the week and felt so much worse than when I started this all. I assumed that by following in obedience to the Word alone, that my heart would get better and I would have a stronger relationship with Jesus, but for some reason I felt like I was falling so much harder in the funky-town of my mind. By the end of the week, I felt like the Lord, because of His kindness toward me, helped me to realize the issue I wasn't looking at... Yes, I was attempting to not complain but the other challenge this week was "to hold fast the Word of life" which I was neglecting. When things started coming up, my focus turned from Jesus to whatever was louder at that moment... It's lame how easily I can forget.
I was reminded of that verse in Zechariah 4:6 that says, "'Not by might nor by power, but by my Spirit,' says the Lord of hosts." Doing things in my own strength I fail all the time and make things worse fast! In the Spirit though, He works in and through me and it always leads to peace and victory.
This may seem like a silly challenge but to me it was such a great reminder of my need for God's Word daily as well as the yuckiness in my heart that can lead to destruction. I was so thankful that the Lord allowed me to go through the ups and downs this week because He did a sweet number on my heart and mind through it all and it gave me a greater appreciation for His Word.
This is one of my favorite verses because of how true it has been in my life:
"... For He is kind to the unthankful and evil." - Luke 6:35 (the end)