Monday, April 30, 2018

My man's birthday weekend!


We played local tourist, explored landmarks and bought souvenirs and walked and ate yumminess and spent time with family and did all the fun things our favorite guy wanted to do because it’s his 40th birthday!! WE LOVE YOU, HOSS!!! Happy Birthday, boo!










 We hiked down this steep hill to pull off this photo. He wanted it and since it was his birthday, I said yes to all the things! haha! This weekend was so much fun!!!



Saturday, April 28, 2018

reckless love


The song “Reckless Love” has hit me to the core. I couldn’t hear it without bawling because I know that’s who God has been in my life.... 
“There's no shadow You won't light up
Mountain You won't climb up
Coming after me
There's no wall You won't kick down
Lie You won't tear down
Coming after me”
It’s the same reckless love I have for my own children. I’ve learned more about the love of God for me as a mother than any other season. It’s like He hand poured His crazy fierce love into the hearts of mamas and that’s what keeps the world moving forward. A mama’s love mirrors the love of God in so many ways. Kind, compassionate, loyal, powerful, sacrificial... there’s nothing I wouldn’t do for them. Nothing is too hard for me to find the courage within to fight for them and their hearts. I’ll face anything in this world for them and the greater that fight in me rises the more and more I believe that God sees me that way too. His love fights fiercely for the souls of His children.

Tuesday, April 17, 2018

"If you can minister at home..."



My husband sent me this quote just now from a sermon he’s listening to: 
“If you can minister at home, you can learn to minister out of obedience instead of for applause”

Motherhood and my home is the first ministry God has called me to do. I have so many desire and dreams and things that stir my heart till it wants to explode but the first and most important ministry is my home and recognizing that that is one of the greatest callings of my life. Being THEIR mama. 

Mamas are in the trenches of some of the most unlikely holy ground as they snuggle their babes, change their diapers, stand between the sibling arguments, care for the sniffling noses, make the lunches, bathe the booties and pray them to sleep. Your reward is not in applause or lights but in children that “rise up and call you blessed”. Your reward is in children that show love and compassion to this world. Your reward is in hugs and kisses and songs from little humans made specially for you, in pictures hand painted on your walls, in being the one human that little hearts need in their moments of sadness. Your reward as a mama far outweighs anything this world has to offer because your words pierce through what is seen to what is unseen. It goes beyond this world and reaches into the eternal. 
“I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.” 3 John 1:4

Thursday, April 12, 2018

Honest Post: Social Media, Comparison + Freedom




HONEST POST: Social media can be incredibly inspiring while also leaving us feeling incredibly unworthy and not enough as we compare ourselves to our sisters around us. What you see are the highlights of others but very rarely do you see the broken pieces behind the scenes. You see the girl that seems unstoppable and winning at life yet you don’t know all that the Lord has asked her to walk through to get her there. Let me just say this, humans are all humans. We all struggle. We all have broken bits and wounds and heartaches and some of us share about it but most of us are scared to say it out loud because of fears of what others might think. Will they still love me? What will they think? What will they say? But hear me on this, those that judge you are already judging you so stop letting them control you. There is freedom in speaking your truth. “The truth will set you free” (John 8:32)
I use to live in so many judgements of others until the Lord, in His great love for me and my soul, let me walk through hell and back. I ate a thanksgiving table full of humble pie. Now I know what it’s like to go from owning our own home to losing everything and being so broke that the food we served our children was from someone anonymously dropping off groceries on our front porch. I know the shame it feels being pregnant on my forth and walking in a grocery store with three other kids in tow and paying for food with government assistance. Like I couldn’t even look at the grocery store worker because if I did I’d cry my eyes out in embarrassment (which is what I did as soon as I got back in my van). I know what it’s like to have people that call themselves Christians lie about my family and try to destroy every opportunity we had. I know what it’s like to be so hurt and broken by the church that I never want to step foot in one again. I know what it’s like to have painful brokenness in my marriage with no hope of it getting better. I know what it feels like to think that I’m failing as a mama to my babies that I would do anything for but feel like I have nothing to give. I know what it feels like to have a body that feels broken and sick and have no idea how to get better. I know what if feels like to hide from the world because I don’t know how to face it. I know what it’s like to feel like the only way I’ll find just a little bit of peace is having that glass or two or more of wine at night. I know deep shame. BUT I also know true FREEDOM from all of that because of that radical, fierce, powerful, redeeming work of Jesus. It easy to look at others, or maybe some of you reading this have even thought this of me, that things just come easy to some and not to you. But it’s not true. Hard hits everyone. But Jesus shows no favoritism. He helps all those that come to Him. He’s set me free from so much and brought in waves of healing and freedom and blessing so abundantly that I’m consistently ugly crying in worship because I sometimes can’t believe where we are today. I don’t take for granted how hard I belly laugh with my husband because I’m in awe of what God has done. I don’t take for granted that I have the money to go to the grocery store and buy food for my family. I don’t take for granted the healing work that has happened to my heart, my husband’s heart and our children’s hearts at our church and that it’s a safe place for us to be. I don’t take for granted that my peace is found in Jesus alone. 
No matter what you’re walking through, there is freedom and hope and healing to be found in Jesus. Nothing or no one is too far. Beauty from ashes. Joy from tears.

Thursday, March 15, 2018

obedience



The Lord has been speaking and moving and stirring within my soul in so many beautiful ways. I was getting to talk to some of my *amazing* ladies I get the honor and working alongside of everyday and shared how the Lord put specific things on my heart to step into and obey Him in. After hesitating, I moved forward in faith and it was instantly like this release of blessing and clarity. He’s a good good father and sometimes He holds back from the greater blessing until our eyes are fully on Him and we’re truly listening. He’s always blessing but there was a shift in the fullness of that blessing. Just like after Abraham’s obedience with Isaac it says, “In your seed all the nations of the earth shall be blessed, because you have obeyed My voice” Genesis 22:18
Obedience has powerful consequences and effects to bless generations after us. 
If you are hesitating in an area the Lord is calling you to step out in, go for it! Even if it seems crazy and you look foolish to some, none of that matters in light of eternity.

Are you the girl that...





Are you the girl the feels small in a crowd of others? 
Are you the girl that feels silenced because of your past? 
Are you the girl that doesn't get invited to the girl trips or gatherings? 
Are you the girl that opens up social media and feels like you’ll never be good enough 
because you don’t look like her or your house doesn’t look like 
hers or your clothes don’t look like hers? 
Are you the girl that thinks that goodness, blessing, favor is for other girls but not for you? 
Are you the girl that looks around and thinks you’ll never be as beautiful or as funny or as 
sexy or as skinny or as popular as those around you?

Are you the girl that can’t receive a compliment because all you remember was that hurtful 

comment spoken about you? Are the girl that holds your head down in a crowd because 

shame was put on you in your past? 



I just want to say that I see you and you’re not alone. 


I know what shame and pain and embarrassment and unworthiness and wanting to just hide
 from life because of fear and past experiences feels like. I know what it feels like to be left out. 
I know what it feels like to have people say hurtful things about you. 
I know what it feels like to be broken down to dust and feel completely hopeless. 

But I also know what it feels like to rise out of those ashes and face my greatest fears. 
I know what it feels like to stand on the other side of shame and find value in who 
God made me to be. I know what it feels like to be found worthy and of value because 
I stopped looking for it in the outward or in what others thought and instead found it in 
who God says that I am. I know what it feels like to be brave and do what scares me 
because I know that it was what I was meant to do. God didn’t create us to be victims to 
our lives but to be victorious in our lives. Jesus ROSE from the grave victorious over sin and death. 
He didn’t stay buried in that tomb but rose out of it and showed Himself to be the God of the impossible.
And that same Spirit that rose Christ from the dead lives in us! (romans 8:11)
That is victory living in us.
No matter what your past is, Christ in you can bring you into victory over all of that. 

YOU ARE WORTHY BECAUSE CHRIST LIVES IN YOU. 

You no longer have to be the girl that’s shamed or embarrassed or uninvited or intimidated by the world. 
You are valuable and loved and worthy enough to step out into YOUR own life and own it.





Go listen to “This is Me” from The Greatest Showman and shake yo thang and

 step out into your life in the freedom given to you by Jesus Himself!



“I am not a stranger to the dark

Hide away, they say

'Cause we don't want your broken parts

I've learned to be ashamed of all my scars

Run away, they say

No one'll love you as you are
But I won't let them break me down to dust
I know that there's a place for us
For we are glorious
When the sharpest words wanna cut me down
I'm gonna send a flood, gonna drown them out
I am brave, I am bruised
I am who I'm meant to be, this is me
Look out 'cause here I come
And I'm marching on to the beat I drum
I'm not scared to be seen
I make no apologies, this is me”



Xoxo

Abs

Friday, March 9, 2018

Uly prays with Max


A little moment captured between brothers this morning... a moment where big brother wanted to make sure that little brother had given his heart to Jesus. “We love you Max and we want you to go to heaven with us... do you want to pray with me and ask Jesus into your heart? Can I help you pray? Can you say this with me?... Jesus, forgive me of my sins and come into my heart. I love You, Jesus. Amen... You did it!”😭
How in the world has the grace and blessing of Jesus poured out this much on me, I don’t know if I’ll never fully know, but I thank the Lord everyday and will forever praise Him for His never ending pursuit of my heart and the hearts of my family. So many times I made such a mess of my life and yet the Lord saw something bigger, something He was creating and it was worth it to Him for me to be saved because He saw the future. He saw THEM.